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Your New Business Venture: What to Do When You Feel Isolated or Unsupported

Sometimes the people you expected to support you the most are the ones who go quiet when you start doing something new with your life.
You can't force them to care. You have to do something more powerful than that.

Quick Answer

For now you need to become your own best friend and start doing the things a real best friend would do for you. Don't worry, it's not hard and we'll show you how.

Why Do I Have To Be My Own Best Friend

With over 8 billion people on earth, you're guaranteed to find thousands who could become great friends.

Making new friends isn’t the issue.
When you start something new in your life it can be exciting, but it can also reveal that not everyone around you understands what you're trying to do. 

You might be building something fresh, making a big change, or trying to improve your situation, and the people you'd expect to care seem distant, uninterested, jealous or just unsupportive. That can leave you feeling like you're on your own with it.
Becoming your own best friend helps you to understand yourself better. You learn the things you love about yourself and the things that you want to improve. Most importantly, it gives you a reliable constant in your life - you know that you will always be there for you.

What Does A Best Friend Do?

You are going to be a best friend like no other. Think about the kind of friend most people hope to have in their lives.

The Basic Things You Expect From Your Best Friend

A real best friend listens to your ideas instead of dismissing them. They support the ventures that matter to you. When you are doing something positive with your life, they notice and encourage you to keep going.

They are proud of who you really are and they don’t try to turn you into someone else.

They share your good news with others because they genuinely want to see you doing well. They enjoy experiences with you that create good memories and they introduce you to people who think in similar ways.

How A Real Best Friend Has Your Back

A real best friend keeps negative people away when they can see those people causing drama. They encourage you to move towards the places, people, and opportunities that support the life you are building for yourself.

They care about the things you care about. They want you to feel stable and grounded. They want you to rest when you need it and move forward when you are ready again.
And when you need them, they show up. They're not suddenly too busy or too distracted when things get difficult.

Things You Can Never Do To Your Best Friend

To be the best friend you can have, some standards have to be set. Start by remembering the things you disliked in past friendships or relationships.

Learn From The Things That Hurt You Before

Most of us can quickly think of moments when friends, or family members, behaved in ways we knew were wrong.

Maybe someone lied to you or they spiced up the truth to gain the upper hand. Maybe they spoke about you behind your back or used your past mistakes against you during an argument, or left you hanging when you needed them most.

Those are the kinds of things we don’t forget. You must make sure that your new best friend never behaves in those ways.

The Standards Your Best Friend Follows

  • Don't lie to you, even when the truth is uncomfortable,
  • Don't excuse bad behaviour to make you feel better in the moment,
  • Don't manipulate situations or involve other people to gain the upper hand.
  • Don't bully, undermine, or humiliate you, or try to get you into trouble.
  • They're not jealous of your goals, or the other relationships you build in your life.
  • And they certainly do not gossip about you to other people.

Thinking Things Through

Before you start talking to other people about the situation, it helps to work through it in your own head first.

Yes, People Do Talk To Themselves

Most people talk to themselves at some point. They just don’t always realise they’re doing it.

You might do it in the shower, while driving somewhere, or while standing in front of the bathroom mirror trying to figure something out.

That’s normal.

Why Saying Things Out Loud Helps

When thoughts stay in your head they can turn into a messy pile of half-finished ideas.

Saying them out loud forces you to slow down and explain the situation properly, even if you are only explaining it to yourself.

Sometimes that alone helps you see what is really going on.

And no, it’s not strange.

It would only be strange if you were standing there waiting for a reply.

Why It Helps To Think Things Through First

You can absolutely talk to a therapist, a friend, or someone in your family.

But when we explain situations to other people we often leave parts out. Sometimes we forget details. Sometimes we soften parts of the story because we don’t want to make ourselves or someone else look bad.

That means the person listening never receives the full picture. Their advice is based on a version of events that has already been edited and filtered.  So the support they offer might not fully fit the situation you are dealing with.

Questions To Ask Yourself

You already have all the details, so look at the situation honestly and ask yourself some basic questions.
  • What actually happened?
  • What was my role in the whole thing?
  • What happens next?
  • How long might this take to work through?
  • Is it worth continuing?
  • What are the best and worst case scenarios?
Thinking through those questions helps you prepare for whatever life throws at you next.

Where To Start

At some point you simply decide that the voice supporting you is going to be your own.
You stop waiting for approval that may never arrive and you start backing yourself instead.

It doesn’t mean other people won’t support you later. Sometimes they will. But until then, you become the person who listens to your ideas, thinks things through properly, and keeps moving forward. That changes a lot.
Want to keep going? Start with one of these
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