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how to make beard hair soft for kissing

A prickly beard can make kisses and hugs less enjoyable. Whether your beard is long and bushy or short and sharp, keeping it soft and smooth doesn’t have to be complicated. Here’s where to start and what to use to get a kissably soft beard.

Related:  Why Is My Beard So Wiry?

Clean It Right First

Person washing face in shower to maintain beard hygiene.

Why You Need to Wash Your Beard Every Day

Even if it looks clean, your beard traps things you don’t notice - dust, smoke, pollen, food residue, and oil from your hands.

Washing daily clears all that out before it settles into the skin or clogs your pores. It also helps prevent itching, dullness, and the start of beard dandruff.

Related:  A Step-by-Step Guide For Men’s Skincare

contrast image: clean beard versus dirty beard

Why Dirty Beards Stay Rough

No product works properly if your beard’s covered in buildup. 

Oil and balm can’t get past the layer of old sweat, skin cells, or grime sitting on the hairs.

A clean beard absorbs what you apply. If softening products aren’t doing much, it’s usually because they’re being blocked before they even start.

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comparison of different cleaning methods

Shower Beats Sink Washing Every Time

Washing your beard at the sink usually misses spots. The water flow is weaker, the angles are awkward, and it’s hard to clean the edges around your jaw and neck.

A proper shower gives you full coverage. You can lift, rinse, and run your fingers through your beard without splashing water everywhere or leaving residue behind.

For daily beard washing, the shower wins on ease, reach, and consistency.
close up of hairs sprouting from skin, soapy arrows and steam

The Steam Factor For Beard Softness

Hot steam helps open up your pores and loosen grime trapped under the beard.

It softens the hair and clears the way for oils and conditioners to work properly.

A warm shower in the morning and evening keeps buildup low, makes coarse hairs easier to manage, and helps your beard feel less dry and brittle.
contemplating between beard shampoo and shower gel

Beard Shampoo Versus Regular Soap

Regular hair shampoo works fine on your beard. Pick one that matches what you need - softening formulas for rough beards, anti-itch for irritated skin, or volumizing for thin patches.
Don't use generic bar soap or shower gel on your beard - they strip away too much oil and leave behind a residue that makes your beard feel like cardboard. Shampoos are specifically made to clean hair without wrecking it, which is exactly what you want for your face.

Related:  Can I Wash My Beard With Head and Shoulders Shampoo?

contemplating between face wash and shampoo

Face-Safe Beard Cleansers

You may worry that hair products will irritate facial skin. You may actually have an allergic reaction to a shampoo on your face just as you would on your scalp.

If you're concerned about skin sensitivities, avoid products containing common irritants like aluminum, phthalates, parabens, propylene glycol, urea, and artificial fragrances.

Many beard-specific washes avoid these ingredients.

Condition & Moisturise

Diluting conditioner

Conditioner: The Secret Weapon

Conditioner's main job is to balance, moisturize, and soften hair - exactly what you want for a kissable beard. Some men find its thick consistency off-putting, but here's a tip: dilute it with water (2 parts conditioner to 1 part water) to reduce buildup and save money. 

Simply comb it through your beard and rinse well after a minute or two. Also try to avoid getting it on your skin - it isn't meant to soften that.
Split screen shows beard oil falling onto a well-groomed beard, versus no oil on a wiry,dry beard

Daily Oil Application

Some guys panic at the thought of putting oil on their face. Flashbacks to teenage acne, right? Relax. Beard oil isn't the same as that grease that plagued your high school years. Without moisture, beard hair turns into something like straw - stiff, scratchy, and impossible to tame. 

A few drops of good beard oil transforms those wiry hairs into something touchable. For a medium beard, 3-5 drops is plenty - warm it between your palms and work it through, making sure to get down to the skin.
Clean, well-groomed beard next to a bottle of beard oil, with the label Clean Beard, Prime Oil (1)

When Beard Oil Doesn't Seem To Work

Ever heard someone say beard oil is useless? It's probably the same guy putting it on a dirty beard. Think about it - would you moisturize your face without washing it first? Slapping oil on a beard full of grime, food particles, and yesterday's sweat just creates a nasty mixture that sits on top of your hair instead of softening it. The oil never gets a chance to do its job. Clean beard first, then oil - that's the golden rule.

Related:  Why Is My Beard Wiry?

man applying vaseline to beard

Petroleum Jelly As A Beard Softener

Vaseline works on beards in a pinch. It locks in moisture rather than adding it, which makes your beard feel softer.

The downside is if you use too much you'll look like you dipped your face in grease. If you go this route, use just a tiny amount on your fingertips and focus on the ends of your beard hair, not up against your skin. Better than nothing when you're out of proper beard oil, but not something you'd want to use every day.

Trim & Tame

comparison of beard trim with scissors or beard trimmers

Trimming for Softness

Clippers are great for shaping your beard, but the angle they cut at might leave sharper ends on your beard hair. 

For a softer feel, sharp hair scissors offer a smoother finish with less angled cuts. 

Regular trimming also removes split ends, which can make your beard feel rough and scratchy no matter what products you use.

Related:  What Happens If You Don't Trim Your Beard?

combing through damp beard: water droplets for hydration

Brushing And Combing Techniques

Two daily showers provide the perfect opportunity to comb and brush your damp, softened beard. Always use your fingers to gently detangle large knots before wetting your beard to avoid painful tugging. Be careful not to overdo brushing and combing, as excessive manipulation can dehydrate hair and lead to dryness and breakage.
Infographic: beard strand cut beneath split ends, oil applied to new ends

The Split End Problem

Beard oil doesn't fix split ends. Period. Once a hair splits, it's damaged for good and no product will repair it. Those frayed ends need to be cut off, not coated with product. 

The solution is simple: trim your beard regularly to remove the damaged bits, then apply oil to the healthy hair that remains. Guys who combine regular trimming with daily oil application get much better results than those who just rely on products alone.
man touches beard during cleansing routine versus men touching beard absentmindely / habitually

Does Touching My Beard Dry it Out?

Washing and oiling your beard obviously means touching it - that's fine. The problem is the constant fidgeting with your beard numerous times throughout the day.

Your fingers carry oils, dirt, and whatever else you've touched. Plus, each time you run your hand through your beard, you pull away some of the good oils you applied earlier. If you keep your beard clean and moisturized regularly, occasional touching won't ruin it.

Give It Time

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