The Habits That Make People Enjoy Talking To You

Have you ever cut someone off mid-sentence? They’re in the middle of telling a story and you've already decided how it ends before they’ve finished it. Or they're making a point and you’ve taken it somewhere else and given it a totally different meaning. That happens because you assume you’re both on the same wave-length. But when it keeps happening those around you might start to ‘cut a long story short’ and quietly leave out the parts they suspect won't get heard anyway.

When you ask someone "How's work", it’s not clear if you’re asking about their colleagues, their workload, their boss, the new project they started, the new building they moved into, or the promotion they wanted. If they can’t decide what part of work you're asking about, they’ll probably respond with “Yeah, work’s fine” and leave it there.
But when you ask "Did the new role turn out how you expected" or "Is that project still doing your head in", those are proper questions that have a direction. It’s clear you’ve been listening, and makes it easier for the other person to pick up the conversation.

You tell someone about a difficult week. Before long you're listening to their difficult week.
You mention a problem you're trying to solve. Two sentences later you're hearing about the time they dealt with something similar. You tell a story and somehow end up sitting through somebody else's version of it. Sharing your own experiences is part of conversation. The trouble starts when every road leads back to you.

You know the type. Every story has a punchline and every conversation has a comeback ready to go. They rarely miss an opportunity to get a reaction. You came away thinking they were quite entertaining. But you also felt a bit drained by the performance.
Then there's the conversation that somehow survives three topic changes, a drink refill and half the evening. You walk away wondering where the time went because neither of you seemed to be trying very hard.

You say:
To be honest, I'm struggling a bit.
and immediately think, "I wasn't planning to tell anybody that today". Then you pause, partly from the shock of blurting that out but also to see what happens next.

There are people who make you feel so relaxed to where you can say something a bit stupid, change your mind halfway through, or admit you're not sure about life, without them making a big deal out of it. Then there are the ones who change their energy. They’ll either fire back with something more shocking, change the subject, or have that 'face' that lets you know that you’ve shared too much.